Maja, School of Tantra of the Heart, Formation of Psychodynamics of Relations and Body Communication, 4th meeting, 2023
Let our sensitivity grow. On the others. On the known and the unknown. On another person. The small and the big world.
The 4th meeting of the Dwarfs was definitely the hardest for me. Opening up to sensitivity seems easy and pleasant, but for me it was very difficult. For the entire 8 days it was difficult, difficult and painful.
I came to the formation with my 11-month-old daughter, who was under wonderful care in Nowa Morawa. From this place I would like to thank Julia and Ania, who really “made it” and wrapped my child in a sea of love. I spent every break with my daughter and didn’t really have a second to rest. The absolute apogee was that I was unable to get over my fear during one of the rituals for which we had been preparing as a group throughout the entire meeting.
I left confused, but it was good that I left at the end because I really wanted to run away halfway through. From what? In fact, because of my sensitivity, which is what I fear most in the world. After leaving from Nowa Morawa, so many “dramas” happened that it is difficult for me to describe them. However, somewhere in my head I had a voice that this would lead to some healing, that everything I allowed myself to feel would be good for me, that in a moment I would see what it was all about, that it would mature.
This morning (a week after the meeting) a light began to emerge, an awareness that I wholeheartedly want to cultivate sensitivity in my life. I want to see my loved ones through the eyes of love. I want to open my heart, even when “something” “holds” me, when fear takes control, even when I would like to withdraw from my closest relationships, when I enter the “darkness” of my being.
Sensitivity to another person, seeing him, rubbing his eyes, being attentive, tender, caring and, above all, “well wishing” in all this – this is what I want to live with every day, what I want to cultivate at home I create and what I leave with from our 4th meeting. Development is not easy, and I realized how much I don’t want to “get off my pedestal”, how much I want to keep my masks.
Life reacted quickly! Because this is what happens when we say we want to develop, but in fact it’s the other way round. Despite these experiences, today I feel that I am opening a new stage. Let our sensitivity grow. On the others. On the known and the unknown. On another person. The small and the big world.
PS.
I would like to thank the most persistent teachers from the bottom of my heart and in trust for their determination and faith in me and the group!