Julita, School of Tantra of the Heart, Formation of Psychodynamics of Relations and Body Communication, 5th meeting, 2024

When I was coming, I didn’t feel like I was going to the last meeting, but I didn’t expect that the message, the information for me, would be that this was the beginning of the journey.I always went with the intention of learning more, but I have the impression that only all the meetings brought fruit in such a way that at this last meeting I received clear information from the ancestors, from the angels, from Mother Earth, from the Goddesses. There were also unclear ones, those that are beyond my understanding, as if they did not concern me, but they do, because they prove that I am part of the world, and the World is in me and I do not have to understand it, perhaps my task as this part is only to convey, see, feel and give further, without calling it our human, logical language.

Maybe. This is the beginning, I like to wonder, so at this beginning I still wonder a lot…
It’s one of those lighter pleasures, because I also understood something during the 5th meeting.
I received a gift, a situation that shocked me, that showed me that energy, vibration does not carry labels, descriptions, stories, just as I tried to attach it to this situation, to deal with it somehow in the old way, to explain it, to justify the world in naive unawareness to what really is!
Fortunately for me, I was not ‘allowed’ to be ‘as I used to be’ and I learned that change, abandoning the old, leaving the victim behind, even in situations when it did not occur to me that this was the energy of the victim, which was also an important lesson that requires me to find sincere courage within myself. The courage to stand in front of another person without projecting, thank you, because thanks to our meeting today I can move on.
Courage to stand in truth with your ancestors, with what you would like to be different, but it is not and you have to bow to it, say goodbye and accept that my history is different, that I am here and now, and I am changing the course of these ancestral events. Courage to tell myself that if it weren’t for the grace of this event, all the messages I received, everything I listened to,
while Gaya and Mario were talking and preparing us for each ritual, everything would actually be for nothing, or at most a fake “something has changed”.

Thanks to this, I touched and experienced what words mean – being with others and for others. To actually be.
Or not really be, fly away, because that’s how it usually was until now.

Thanks to this, I was able to fully accept the message:
To hear Who I am, I must first hear another person, another soul. Now, I can start learning it. I made an internal, not out of my head, choice that I was already on this path, and since I was standing and seeing the path, I once heard from someone – there is a path – you have to go!
So I’m going. These words rang out to me during the meeting…

In Modra Rzeka you can’t pretend, even if you really want to, sometimes the words that come out of me surprise me in such a way that I can’t even call it spontaneity. This is beautiful, the change of being able to meet the real me.
Although I still need to learn the real me.

I usually came back home and was wondering what to do with it now, why it happened this way and that way, and lots of new philosophical theories about the universe and all the existential pains of life, and now it seemed like this calm ‘I don’t know and I don’t need to know’, but I can still try to find out, it’s probably a sense of acceptance…

There are moments when the old comes back, a shadow comes and tries to introduce confusion and doubt, but it goes away peacefully 🙂 I am different, the world is different, it is wider. I am not afraid of dreams, I am not afraid of feeling and seeing, and every day I work with what happened in that meeting. Today I write what I am with today, yesterday it was different, tomorrow it will be different.
I cannot fully describe what happens on this path, but I can say that everything that happened led me to the Mother, yes, I met the Mother of the World, who is my Mother, and this meeting was a blessing and this most sacred information about where I came from.

I come from the same place where the energy of this beautiful tree comes from, I am part of this tree that I imagine myself to be. It is indescribable, and yet I am writing about it because I want to share this hope that there will be a moment when we will all remember. And I go back to the beginning.

This is the beginning. Maybe every next meeting will be a beginning.
This 5th meeting of the School was also a meeting with another person in mindfulness, in support, in gentleness, in energy, in information, in synchronization of where and at what point I am. There were never accidental meetings, but these were as if we had prepared them and ourselves for them during previous meetings.
This meeting was also full of synchronization of thoughts, words and events.
Like any other, but pure quantum physics works here. In Dance, the Body preceded the music, and it appeared as a cosmic vibration.

I came home with the words in my head: “dance, dance, dance” so I dance more than before and I sing more and my voice changes and I fall in love with my own voice and sometimes it’s as if it wasn’t my singing. I don’t get tired singing high, and that’s new. It’s really beautiful. This happens, my throat clears and opens.

Thank you. Thank you with all my heart! Thank you Gaya and Mario, Aleksandra, Szymon and Ola, and Magdalena for every word, joke, attention and attentiveness, for caring and being respectful, for support in moments of weakness and for POWER! I would also like to thank Magdalena, who during this meeting massaged me so much that for the first time I felt that when I walked, my hips and legs were moving first, and then the rest of my body, and wow, it was so nice to move like that! Thank you Magdalena! I would also like to thank Emilia and Agnieszka for delicious food, during this meeting. I had the impression that I was very full all the time and as if there were more meals than there actually were.
And I would like to thank Ania and Julia from the bottom of my heart for taking care of Róża and Olivia, and for the opportunity that I could be there with them and that’s why this is happening at all! Also for those moments when I shared with you, Ania and Julia, what happened, because then I could also say it out loud to myself and those moments stayed with me the most.

I am healthier, I am calmer, despite the times we are in, I am stronger. And less of a mentality in me.

Greetings from Scotland to the entire Modra Rzeka!