A few points on Manhood…
The preparation for my first workshop for men made me think over my own association and relationship with manhood. And I also got a lot of questions from first workshop participants.
And that’s what made me to write down a few points on Manhood. What I do associate with this subject and what I feel is important to learn and practice as an everyday life attitude.
1. I give my word and I keep it
It seems so easy and appears so difficult. I give my word and I keep it. You can trust me and count on my word.
I remember how frustrated I was as a little boy when I was forced by my father to go and help him on Saturday or Sunday in our neighbours garden. And I really didn’t like the garden work until I got in my thirties 🙂 And I always used to ask my father „Why we have to do this? It’s not even our garden“. And he always did reply „I gave my word“
Today I really appreciate myself and other men who keep to their words. And I’m always fully ashamed when I don’t keep my word.
And I’m very happy when I can fullfill a promise, especially if it’s about some home repairs which my wife asked me for. And then I sigh with release „Finally made it“.
Like this beatiful hat hanger I made 6 months after being asked for by my wife 🙂 🙂 🙂
2. Men come with solutions and not problems*
Everywhere, always and everyone! And there are almost no exceptions (look there*)
And it’s really unforgivable to come with a problem towards a women. Unless it’s your mommy, you’re 5 year old or less and your daddy is away 🙂 🙂 🙂
*The exception is when you cannot fix your car/home equipment or you lack some tools and the DIY store is closed. Then you can come to your friend with a problem but this request should be followed by a sixpack as an apology.
3. A Man needs to make money
It doesn’t mean a lot of money, just enough to make a fair living and to stand for yourself. Why it’s so important? Well it allows your woman/partner to get more relaxed and feel save. And you get enough self esteem and confidence. You can look other men straight in the eyesand feel ecqual.
4. The Spiritual Path
There is something more in your life than your daily job. Faith, hope, love. It’s so easy to commit yourself to daily operations or so called business as usual and quite soon your life will become a project with some KPI’s or metrics being your purpouse.
But there is something greater. Faith in god (No matter if you call him Christ, Buddha, Allah or Yahweh) who did create us in his image. There is the whole wonderful world surrounding us. It’s enough to see the river, mountains, forests, go in the wild and hug a tree which grew so magnificent. And this spiritual quality is something a man should follow and share with his kids.
And this spiritual way awakens in you the trust to your life path and to the reality. You can liberate yourself from the willingness to control and plan everything in you life. Trust in something greater than you releases your fear. And that’s why it makes sens to pray!
5. Be authentic or the story about the funny wildman
I remember from my life some nasty encounters with great tension and almost violent behaviour. And then suddenly one funny comment could release all the tension and smile did appear on all the faces. Once I did drive really terrible and almost hit another car. We both stopped with the second driver and started yelling at each other and almost did get in a fight. And then I just smiled and said „I’m so sorry I just behaved like an idiot“ and the guy answered „It’s fine sometimes shit happens“
And I also remember situations when I jumped on a dog which was chasing a kid or attacked a man who threatened my woman. All without any consideration or calculation.
This are the two most spontaneous reaction of our body = joy and action to defend ourselves or our beloved.
This is also the natural behaviour of a wild man who lives inside his body with a deep bound with the nature and reacts very spontaneously
And this i show most of the woman wants their men to be. Joyfull and funny in everyday’s life and ready to make a step whenever it’s needed
6. Take care of your Children
A frequent and sad story affecting millions of children in Europe and over a million alone in Poland. The father departed and does not even pay a penny to the mother of his children.
I don’t know how a man can leave his children (I have two children from my first marriage and I’m still involved in their upbringing) and be still happy with his life.
Usually in this situation the awakening comes too late and then it’s impossible to rebuild the relationship between the father and his children.
That’s why please take care of your children until it’s not too late. Even if they live thousands of miles away there is always a way!
And if you live with your children under the same roof then please also take care of them 🙂 🙂 :). It does not make sense lying on your couch. Move and share your beliefs and values with your children and show them the beatiful world that surrounds us.
7. Higher Life Purpose
I hope you did not believe in the commercials and ads saying our life purpose is to make money, consume and collect followers on Instagram?
If not there is some hope for mankind 🙂
Of course it does not mean you should leave everything and immediately start the quest for your higher life purpose.
Start with first things first. Ask yourself some very basic questions:
Am I really interested in my job?
Does the thought of quitting your position bring a sudden rise of energy?
Do you work for money only? Maybe you could start collecting shoe laces if this could pay your wage 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
And then be ready for inspiration and open yourself for the vision of new! And be aware of signs as they will come at some point, mostly sooner then you could think of.
I look for inspiration and advice on this matter within my friend circle and in the great book by David Deida „The way of the superior Man“.
And what I feel deep inside is that a Man is really fullfilled and happy once he starts to follow his higher life purpose (or he is on the midterm goal to his real purpose 🙂 🙂 🙂 :). And this is also the reason why I left the fintech world for another amazing adventure.