David, School of Tantra of the Heart, Formation of Psychodynamics of Relations and Body Communication, 6th meeting, 2025
As I look back on the journey through these six levels over 2 years, I see the arc of a profound initiation. I am unrecognizable to myself and others… I came in believing I was separate, standing apart from the group, operating from a lone sense of identity. In truth, I was still deeply entangled in the archetype of the inner politician: calculating, adapting, suppressing real desire in order to be seen as acceptable.
I judged the political, those who spoke in slippery half-truths… not realizing that this, too, was my own shadow. I couldn’t yet see how much of my energy was wrapped in hidden agendas and non-committal posturing. My desire to serve was there, but it was filtered through the need to be accepted, to be safe, to remain unseen in my full, radiant expression.
Then I was thrown into the fire. In the cauldron of the group field, I was no longer allowed to hide. At all… completely naked, no armour left. Every action, every word, every glance… was seen, felt, and reflected back to me. I was held accountable for how my energy impacts others, not just what I intended. The illusion of separation shattered. The heat burned away the masks I didn’t even know I was still wearing.
I saw how often, especially in intimacy, I gave up my direction how I gave up my essence all in service to a connection I framed as love, but which often masked self-abandonment and abandonment to my contribution to the world.
But amidst all this, I touched something pure. A moment of true service. A flash of joy that didn’t seek validation, didn’t ask to be liked, didn’t compromise to belong. It was the soul’s emanation love as a gift, not a strategy.
My soul is like a bird, once trapped by the ego’s cage. The door was open, but still, I would try to seduce others into my bondage rather than fly free. Now I understand the cost of that.
I understand the profound gifts that I have been given through tantra
Truely I have ALL the tools to live a life of richness joy beauty and service…
I don’t want to live from the mental anymore. I don’t want to lead with the desire to please. I want to stand in the clear, authentic emanation of who I truly am to bring that into love, leadership, and service. I left with Fearlessness
This is not the end. But it is yet another threshold. Time to awaken to life